


Helloooo, Beach City!

by Peridawesome



Category: Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crossover, Post-Episode s05e29-32 Change Your Mind
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:41:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28178553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peridawesome/pseuds/Peridawesome
Summary: Seems that the Warner Siblings have gotten under the nerves of all the wrong executives, who decided that they'll be better off without them, so they end up shipped off someplace far away- in another cartoon, in fact!
Comments: 61
Kudos: 106





	1. The Badly Named First Chapter

Things were not going well for the Warner Trio, it seemed. And that was saying something.

Their tendency to goof off and mess around with anyone who could even slightly tolerate it, and even those who couldn't, often landed them in hot water and caused some conflicts. However, they did not expect that a joke would land so poorly that it would result in them no longer being welcome in their own cartoon!

"H-hey, wait, this is all just a misunderstanding!" Yakko would assure the angry crowd of executives, animators, and writers alike. "Yes, we did insult you and all of your collective mothers, but that was just meant as a clever satire on the concept of insults!"

Making an aside to his brother, Wakko questioned, "Didn't you tell me we were just doing it because it was funny?"

"That was the honest answer, this is the keep from being booted out answer," he'd whisper, before realizing that the angry mob definitely heard that entire exchange.

Putting up her hands, Dot asked, "Don't you think this is a bit rash? And even if you don't, couldn't you have a heart to spare an innocent child like me from losing her loving brothers~?"

"What? No, we're tossing all three of ya out!" a tall and balding man would state, raising his pitchfork.

Giving a light chuckle, she corrected, "No, I mean that if you kick us out I'm going to rattle their necks for it."

With that, they'd find themselves chased for a good thirty-second segment of wacky hi-jinks in which glass panels were broken and pies were flung, before eventually they were cornered in an inconspicuous alley and had a cardboard box tossed over them!

"A box...? Hey, we could get out of this no problem!" Wakko proclaimed.

As if responding to his statement, the perpetrators would soon get some yellow tape and begin to seal it shut, even putting a stamp reading "Never Open Ever Ever... Ever."

  
Tapping on his chin, he'd ask his brother, "Is that gonna hold us?"

"Well, we're cartoon characters, but this is also supposedly a crossover, so... let's just say yes and let it rest."

  
As the box would be roughly shoved into a truck which was driving its way toward an airplane hangar, Dot mused, "I wonder where they'll take us... New Jersey, maybe?"

"No, no, jokes about New Jersey are so tired, and the last thing that they want is to give us old material. We're the Warners, so maybe it's another property under that umbrella..."

Raising a finger, Wakko suggested, "Another cartoon, even!"

"Oh, how astute. That narrows it down," Dot would snidely remark.

Yakko would then bring up a theory: "Hm, well they clearly want to get us as far away from our home turf as possible. So what's a Warner-branded cartoon that's far-removed from looney and toony, while still being pretty popular?"

As they questioned this, the plane their box had been shoved on would fly through an interdimensional rift, blasting through several different animated universes while leaving the box completely untouched. 

Sweating a bit now, Dot would groan, "I feel like it's getting humid in here, and the lack of breathing holes is really not sitting well with me..."

"Don't worry, we can just make our own breathing holes! Hang on..."

Reaching under his hat, Wakko would pull out a handsaw which he'd use to start cutting a hole into the box... however, he was also cutting a hole into the floor of the cargo bay, meaning that in a matter of seconds they would be falling from the box and out of the clouds.

Realizing the error of his ways, the middlest sibling would exclaim, "I doomed us!"

"Relax, Wack, we always get ourselves into perilous situations before ending up fixing it just before it gets really bad!" Yakko assured him.

In response, Dot reminded him, "If that was true, we wouldn't have been put in a cardboard box."

"Hey, we all agreed that was purely for the sake of a very funny crossover! Everything else, however, is going to be authentic Animaniacs! Let's see, I think one of these falling packages could contain something useful..."

He'd reach over and unzip a large bag of luggage and soon pull out an umbrella... but opening it would cause water to somehow pour out. He'd reach in and seemingly find a parachute... but it was merely a backpack filled with bricks, for whatever reason.

Crossing his fingers, Yakko whispered, "Rule of three, don't fail me now...!"

Cartoonishly, a large mattress would be pulled out of the bag, looking to be Queen-sized.

"Well, that's nice. Oh, there's a blanket in there too!" Dot pointed out, suddenly in good spirits.

So, the three siblings would lie upon the falling mattress under the blanket, happy to have something to soften their fall...

**_KABLAM_ **

...of course, it could never be that simple, and the mattress would explode on impact with the sandy surface below. However, since they had wrapped up in the blanket, they'd manage to stay together and would just get tossed around before finally coming to a stop.

Dusting himself off, Yakko remarked, "Well, it was no Lost, but that certainly was one way to crash from an airplane!"

"Speaking of crash, and no, that's not a segue to reference a marsupial- where did we end up, exactly?"

The three would then see a short chubby kid with curly hair run up to them, proclaiming with excitement, "D-did you three just land from an airplane and get back up...?! Oh my gosh, that is so cool! Really dangerous, but still cool!"

"Well, I like your attitude, kid. And uh, who are you, and where are we? And if both of those questions have the same answer, that'd be great."

Not picking up on his meeting, he replied, "I'm Steven Universe, and you're in Beach City!"

"Beach City? Steven Universe?" Dot repeated. "Heh, guess this is going to be one weird crossover."


	2. It's Time for An Anomaly!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Crystal Gems are on high alert due to the presence of not one, but THREE reality-bending creatures!

Amethyst would be casually eating a sandwich that looked to be the length of her body when Pearl walked out asking, "Do you know where Steven has been...?"  
  
"Oh, he's playing with these weird... uh, kids, I guess," Amethyst remarked, slurping up the lettuce from her sandwich before pointing down to the beach.  
  
While her mouth opened as if to say something, Pearl would instead stare at what was unfolding before her- these three black-and-white (and red-nosed) children were pulling things out of thin air, moving in ways that seem even hard for a gem, and making a barrage of references ranging from general knowledge to the most obscure possible...  
  
Summoning her spear, Pearl urged, "Get the others, I think this is a serious situation!"  
  
Back on the beach, Steven was just having a blast listening and watching as this trio acted as their own little comedy troupe, even having an incredible amount of humorous props and an endless supply of one-liners!  
  
"Wow, where do you guys come up with these jokes?"  
  
Dot, making an aside, would answer, "Oh, we just take several decades of comedy legends and boil it down into several minutes."  
  
"And I got a hat!" Wakko proclaimed, earning confused looks from his siblings, while Steven still found it funny enough to laugh.  
  
Chuckling lightly, Yakko would remark, "If we had audiences as easy to please as you, we'd never have been uh... politely escorted from our previous jobs!" 

"Well, you guys _are_ really funny. Hey, why don't I show you guys to the Gems?" Steven would offer.  
  
Scratching his chin, Wakko asked, "And the Holograms, too?"  
  
"Huh? Well, they can form holograms, but... no, these guys are the Crystal Gems, they rebelled against a terrible regime so they could earn their freedom!"  
  
Raising a hand, Yakko exclaimed, "Oh, so it's the American Revolution!"  
  
"The... what?"  
  
For a moment, the sibs thought they were going to need to do a whole musical number detailing what they thought should be common knowledge for this kid before they soon noticed a group of colorful characters approaching them- one short and green, one taller and blue, one with a big square hair-do, one with a pointy bird-like nose, one sporting some long rainbow locks, and the last one being shorter than the others and having a purple hue.  
  
Dot, looking at all these fashionable ladies, remarked, "Finally, I'm not the only lady in the room. Er, beach."  
  
However, she would seem less relieved when she saw them all sporting weapons- from whips to spears to giant gauntlets.  
  
"Hey hey heyyy, what's with the artillery, fellas? Or should I say... lady fellas?" Yakko remarked, attempting to flirt with these gals to appease them a bit.  
  
Not impacted in the slightest by his remarks, Pearl pointed the spear and stated, "We believe you three to be too dangerous to this planet to remain here!"  
  
"Heh, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that..."  
  
Amethyst, the whip-wielding gem, certainly did not entirely get what the big deal was- but then, the hat-wearing brother would somehow manage to steal her sandwich and eat it in one gulp, and she'd feel a sudden desire to get revenge! 

Jumping in front of them, Steven urged, "Guys, this is just like last time! These three don't wanna hurt anyone, they just wanna make people laugh!"  
  
" _Last_ time? So you're saying that this isn't even an _original_ idea?! Man, everything has to be so derivative..." Dot muttered, crossing her arms before promptly having a whip wrapped around her waist that would fling her directly into the cliffside, leading a Dot-shaped crater.  
  
Steven would fail to convince the gems to stop, and it seemed as if a battle would occur, and he'd cover his eyes in fear... but then suddenly, everything was silent. He'd uncover them, and see that the gems had managed to lose the trio.  
  
Bismuth, turning to Garnet, urged, "Can't ya use your future vision to see where they might've gone?"  
  
"I'm trying, but... these three are so unpredictable that I'm having trouble catching up...!"  
  
Snickering, Lapis soon remarked, "Hey Garnet, I think we might've found them."  
  
Slowly, she'd glance up and realize the three had popped out of her hair, and would then dive back in before anyone could stop them! 

It would evoke great laughter from many, and some chuckles from Bismuth... before she felt the three pop out of her hair and then run out! Now that she was on the other end of it, she'd definitely not be laughing, and would soon form blades with her hands before chasing after them!  
  
The three split up- Yakko dashed into Funland in hopes of finding a fellow comedian, or at least some poor underpaid shmuck to cheer up; Wakko rushed into Fish Stew Pizza, as he could really go for both some sea-food and some Italian cuisine; finally, Dot scurried into the home of the Mayor, hoping that the one in charge here could put a stop to this unwarranted level of violence!

Thinking it over, Garnet would admit, "We're definitely going to have to split up if we want to catch them and keep Beach City safe... since there's three of them, we can go in pairs of two. Pearl and Amethyst can get the tall one, Bismuth and I can get the one in the hat, and Lapis and Peridot can get the girl."

They'd all nod, whilst Steven worried about this getting too far and leading to something that nobody could take back. However, little did he know that the Warner siblings did not travel alone. Indeed, the real threat to Beach City was not the trio that got kicked out for their shenanigans, but a laboratory mice duo with the somewhat shared goal of taking over the world... and as they observed these humanoid aliens, they began to feel like they were on the right track to do it in what seemed like the most inconsequential kind of town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh, it's Say Uncle but even zanier!


	3. A Tale of Three Kiddies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's see if we can split our attention evenly between the three Warner Siblings.... oh, and there's some mice too...

Each Warner Sibling ran into a different building in Beach City at the exact same time, so recapping what they all did would mean messing around with the order of things. So, starting with the eldest sibling and working down, we will observe how the next five minutes unfolded for each respective sib...

Yakko arrived at Funland, glancing around and making a quick mental observation: this place did not seem to live up much to the hype. For one thing, it only had one employee manning the place, which seemed like either a genius move to save money or a sign of how dire the state of this place was. Secondly, the one and only worker did not appear all that happy, even with that painful-looking smile on his face. And as the Warner with the most experience cracking jokes, it is not hard to tell when someone is faking a smile.

"Hello, little... boy, how may I help you today at Funland?" the tall bald-headed man asked, smiling ear to ear and showing off far too many teeth and gums for Yakko's liking.

Tapping his chin, Yakko replied, "Oh, that's a tough one. I have been having some feelings of self-doubt and uncertainty lately, think you can help with that?"

"Uh... I'm not a therapist, kid. But I can give you some tickets on our rides if you got the dough!"

Soon, Yakko reached into one of his pants pockets to fish some dough, eventually pulling out... literal pizza dough. Strangely, though, it seemed like he was using it as a wallet with which he was storing quite a bit of money! With a casual flick of the wrist, he'd give the smiling man a whopping one hundred dollar bill!

Taking a second to comprehend this, he'd admit, "I-I've never seen this much money before at once..."

"Oh man, that's a bummer. Well uh, consider that a little exchange of smiles! Hopefully, you can hold up your end of the bargain~"

Looking up at Yakko with a genuine, natural smile, he exclaimed, "A-are you kidding me?! With the money you just gave, you earned yourself an entire day with this park! Go crazy, kid, take allll these tickets!"

The witty kid would have trouble thinking of a comeback as he was given his weight in little colorful slips of paper that signified his right to have fun in Funland for a while. Still, he'd give the man a wink before rushing for some cotton candy, soda, and a roller coaster to ride, not realizing that two gems were tailing him.

"Honestly, apart from the sandwich thing, they don't seem THAT bad..."

Looking at Amethyst with disbelief, Pearl questioned, "Did you completely forget what we went through before?! And this time they aren't even human!"

"Uh, P, we're not human... oh, and I think he's on that roller coaster."

The two of them would rush toward it in hopes of stopping it before they were grabbed by... Mr. Smiley, surprisingly!

Looking quite passionate, he pleaded, "Don't you dare lay a finger on my number one customer!"

"Works for me, I guess- still got those big churros?" Amethyst asked, reaching into her pocket...

Her face in her hands, Pearl groaned, "T-this is going to be a nightmare..."

At the same time that all of this was happening, Wakko was rushing into Fish Stew Pizza, the delicious-smelling food certainly attracting his attention. He barely even bat an eye when he realized that there was some sort of crab lady acting as a chef quite plainly in view from the window.

Casually waltzing over would be a teen in a large white apron, who would casually ask, "What can I get you, uh... dude?"

"Heh, great question, dudette! Can I get a look at your menu?"

She'd give a smile and a nod, casually handing it over, although she'd remark, "Most people end up ordering the same thing no matter how much they look on the menu, but we'll never deny a customer a chance to do some readin'..."

"Hm, definitely a lot of intriguing options... alright, it's settled! I'll take one of everything!"

Clicking her pen, she'd clarify, "You mean like, multiple entire pizzas, or...?"

"Oh, that was an option too? Okay, yeah, that!"

Giving a chuckle, she'd ask, "Do you think you can pay for all this? You don't look like you got any pockets..."

Proving that he was capable of much more than what could be observed, he'd lift up his hat and bundles of money would fall out! Immediately, she'd begin scooping it up, while rushing to the back to inform the two other employees of this very hefty meal...

When Bismuth and Garnet finally entered, they'd be surprised to see him not bouncing off the walls and breaking things, but stuffing his face with pizza while taking a slurp from one of many drinks around him. They began to wonder what exactly they were fighting here...

And at the same same time, Dot would dash into the mayor's office, expecting to see some stuffy white male... only to see a short old Ghanian woman in that seat!

"Oh, hello young miss, how may I help you?"

Taking pause, Dot would admit, "I was gonna try to get help with these uh, circus clowns chasing me, but I think I'm much more interested in your life story..."

The door would soon be jammed shut to give them some time to chat, with Lapis and Peridot trying to find an alternate way inside... all while two laboratory mice were using the town's sewers so they could hopefully infiltrate the mayor's home and obtain some important documents, which would allow them to hopefully take over this place. After all, where better to begin a journey to world domination than a small but influential town, one where apparently aliens were residing more than in any other place on Earth? Quite intriguing, and definitely something worth a lot of extra pondering...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, I hope you enjoy this chapter~!


	4. Peace Was Never an Option (but Could Be Made One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Crystal Gems begin to consider if the Warner Siblings are really worth the trouble, before a truth begins to make itself evident.

The Crystal Gems would soon meet back up in the center of Beach City, with Steven still waiting there readying himself in case anything went wrong... however, he'd not see them return bloodhungry and ready to fight his new friends. Instead, they looked tired and generally just confused regarding what they were doing.

"Wait, so... are you guys not going to try and get them out of here anymore?"

With a sigh, Pearl admitted, "Maybe, maybe not, it's too soon to say..."

"Honestly, we've failed to find any reason to believe they are actually viable threats against us," Garnet would soon explain.

Nodding, Amethyst would gulp down her soda as she added, "Yeah, they just seem like a bunch of kids."

They'd all begin to talk amongst themselves about what they learned about their respective Warner Sibling, and Steven felt thoroughly validated regarding the idea of them not being all that bad.

Suddenly, the group heard rapid footsteps, and turned to see the trio standing right in front of them.

Clearing his throat, Yakko would explain, "We have absorbed the culture of your town, and have concluded we are about ready to engage in your sci-fi comedy battle. But be warned, we Warners do not pull any punches!"

"Yeah, we push 'em!" Wakko proclaimed with a dopey grin.

Dot blithely then added, "I'm not with them."

"We were only going to fight you before because we believed you to be a threat to our town due to your abilities to alter reality significantly, but through careful observation, we've deduced-"

Covering Peridot's mouth, Lapis would finish for her: "You guys are cool."

"I-I WAS GONNA SAY THAT...!"

The Warner Siblings contemplated this, and then Wakko asked, "Does that mean we can keep eating your food?"

"And having fun at your amusement parks?" Yakko questioned, as Mr. Smiley gave a thumbs up in the background.

Finally, Dot would add, "And gushing over your progressive politicians~?"

"Uh... yeah to all of that, I guess!" Bismuth responded, giving all three of them a hearty slap to the back.

Dot would be about to tell her off for such a forceful greeting, but then grew annoyed in another way, as her brothers would proclaim "Hellooo, buff alien lady!" and jump into Bismuth's arms, clearly having found the ideal target of their affection. Yep, it's the twenty-first century and they're still doing that old routine, joy.

With a chuckle, Steven would ask in a polite manner, "If you three are comfortable with it, would you like a tour around the Temple? Just uh, be careful in the Burning Room, the lava pool in there isn't just for show...."

"A lover pool...? Well, I guess that does sound a bit too risque for us, so thanks for the warning!" Wakko remarked, and the trio would soon be lead toward the Temple where they would be taken inside...

Now, you may think that everything was just fine now and that there was nothing else to worry about, right? Well, not exactly. Let's cut back a few minutes earlier...

As Dot had an enticing chat with Mayor Nanefua and pretended not to notice Lapis and Peridot standing outside, Pinky and the Brain had just finished climbing up from the toilet. They'd take a few moments to use some squares of toilet paper to dry themselves while lamenting how they should've found a more sanitary method of doing that. Nevertheless, they'd try to carry on with their plan of uh... well, the plan was a bit less clear now after climbing up all those pipes, but they knew they'd they to find some stuff that'd help them take over the world!

They snuck under the door of the bathroom and into the mayor's office, where they would try to climb up the desk... only for a big paw to fall down and squish them flat, not hurting them in any meaningful way but just leaving them a bit stuck.

"Wow, he just gave up like THAT?! Heh, I almost wish he had carried through, imagine how satisfying it would've been to get those results in!" Dot would exclaim excitedly, before glancing at the window and realizing Peridot and Lapis had left. "Oh, guess they stopped... I'm gonna be back later, just gotta make sure my brothers haven't done anything... well, that they would do."

And so, several minutes after that, she had entered the Temple and come to realize something was stuck to her foot and would get it off by grinding her foot against that sparkly platform that Steven casually remarked to be a Warp Pad during their tour, and she held back a joke about pads that she felt wouldn't make it past the censors. And so, Pinky and the Brain were now in the temple of the Crystal Gems.

Looking at the platform, Pinky questioned, "What do ya think it is, Brain?"

"From what the strange human child explained during his attempt at a tour, this is meant to send aliens- called gems- to different parts of the universe. Hm... Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

In response, Pinky would respond in turn, "I think so, Brain, but if she was bald, wouldn't she have to call herself Billie Hairlish?"

"No, you blundering bluff- we can trick this Warp Pad into thinking we're one of their species, and then travel to any part of our known and unknown universe in order to gather the tools we need for world domination!"

Soon, he went to work, and pretty quickly managed to work up something- helmets with little gem pieces attached, along with small tubes for oxygen. It managed to actually pass the test, and they'd zip through the universe without much caution...

...and when they came to a stop, they were standing in what looked like some kind of strange garden. 

The Brain almost assumed they were unlucky, before seeing something potentially exploitable: a cute but downtrodden pink gem, looking like it understood both love and loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh, did you think we'd just let things settle down with the Warners getting along with the Gems already? Sorry, not that simple, we got gay mice!
> 
> (and yes, I decided that, to try and take over the world, Pinky and the Brain are going to end up exploiting Spinel's emotional fragility. The Brain is really going hard on ends justifying the means.)


	5. The Same Thing They Do Every Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peace is interrupted in Beach City by the arrival of a seemingly unsuspecting pink gem... being guided by two tiny mice with grand plans.

Everything seemed like it was really beginning to mellow out. The Crystal Gems were realizing that the Warner Siblings were really not that dangerous unless they were afraid of an abundance of witty asides, and unlike a certain relative of Steven's, they don't plan to cause that much chaos. In fact, judged next to other gems they've known, they weren't really that crazy. After the tour finished up, the plan was basically to find a place for the siblings to sleep for the night so they'd be able to get a bit more comfortable- even toons needed some warm beds.

However, not everything could be so simple. As soon as it looked like they were ready to cap the tour off, revisiting the living room where it started, the Warp Pad would begin to spark a bit and three figures would appear standing on it- one looking closest to Dot's height, and the other two being far tinier.

"Oh my, I have to admire your fashion sense," Dot remarked, gesturing to the pink gem's goofily large shoes and her shorts. 

Covering her mouth in shock, Pearl would mutter, "T-this can't be happening..."

"Oh, but it is... this gem going by the moniker of Spinel has been betrayed by the one she holds dear, and now seeks revenge in the most fruitful way possible! Now, dear, show them what you are capable of with that little gadget of yours..."

Whipping it out from her gem, Spinel would soon activate it and would begin to make some swipes! The shortest of the gems- Peridot, Amethyst, and Steven- were the only ones to avoid getting hit. 

Steven gawked at the sight of his friends being spontaneously poofed and sighed, remarking, "At least we're still okay..."

"Oh, I accounted for this scenario," Brain would remark, moving to get out his net-shooter to fire at the three...

...only for Wakko to end up jumping into the air and catching it in his mouth like a dog. 

Trying to take this opportunity to stop this pink gem from causing any more trouble, Amethyst moved to trap her with her whip... but then, Spinel grabbed it and tugged her right back, right through the blade of her scythe.

Steven began to tear up from this overwhelming onslaught and urged Peridot, "You have to escape, go find help!"

She'd give a nod and rush to the door... only for Spinel to stretch her arm out and wrap it around Peridot's legs to toss her against a wall, before managing to cut her clean in half with the weapon.

"Geez, I don't know what's going on here, but it is definitely not good if the mice are involved," Yakko commented, gesturing to Pinky and the Brain standing just by Spinel's feet.

Cackling with excitement, Brain proclaimed, "Yes, my plan is unfolding as I had envisioned! All of your powerful crystallines friends have been brought back to zero, and when they return to being, I will be able to force upon them my own programming so that I can make them my personal servants! If these aliens are so powerful to have colonized as many planets as my new friend here says, then I think they shall serve us well, eh Pinky?"

"Oh, um, sure!" Pinky replied, too distracted by those heart-shaped ponytails she had. "So cute~"

Forming his shield and wiping his tears, Steven promised, "As long as I'm here, you can't win! The Crystal Gems are here to protect the planet, not take it over!"

"I can't tell how seriously to take this," Dot whispered to Yakko, who was already reaching for some popcorn. 

Ignoring the commentary, Brain would promise, "Oh yes, I will be sure to take care of you nicely. Spinel, do the honors for me."

She'd slice horizontally across his body multiple times without hesitation, all while giggling excitedly, and Steven's shield would vanish while he screamed out loud. All the while, Brain rushed with a burlap sack to gather all of the gems. 

"I understand you have _other_ gems in this town as well, and really, I say the more the merrier. I think with an army like this, I will be able to quickly intimidate the masses. Now, let the next step commence!"

He'd rush with Pinky to follow Spinel out the door while Steven whimpered in pain, all while the Warner Siblings seemed very confused by this series of events.

Humming to himself, Yakko would question, "So is this a stage production, or did Brain actually manage to pull off a decent scheme?"

"I don't know who that was, but he has to be stopped! B-but my powers, I can't feel them...!"

Pretending not to notice the convenience of the main character now needing to rely on the sudden crossover characters, Dot suggested, "Perhaps we can help you stop him, then?"

"Alright, seems like I'll need it... but wait, how do you know who that is? And what about the pink gem?" Steven questioned as he would slowly rise to his feet.

Tapping his chin, Wakko questioned, "Do you have time for a quick song about it?"

"Uh... well, if it's really quick, maybe?"

A minute and a half later, Steven had quite a tune stuck in his head, and now realized the stakes here- Pinky and the Brain seriously wanted to take over the entire world using Beach City's innocent gems!

Sighing with exasperation, Steven urged, "Do you know any way to stop him? I still don't have my powers, and my friends are all gone, so you'll need to take charge here!"

"Hm, usually Brain's plots are foiled by his own hubris or by Pinky's uh... uniqueness, but I guess being in this show really upped the ante when it came to his plots. But if there's any trio who can prevent world domination while remaining upbeat and comedic, it'd be the Warners!"

And so, the trio rushed out followed quickly by Steven, who hoped they were up to snuff...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys liked this!
> 
> ye, I know I'm kind of going Cerebrus Syndrome with Brain's evil plot, but Pinky and the Brain was always a bit darker than the stuff you'd see in regular Animaniacs skits.


	6. Conflict of the Toons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brain is confident about his big plan, but finds that someone is around the corner to try and stop it.

"Pinky, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but I think that this might be the plan that gets us what we've wanted all along!"

Chuckling, Brain's dim-witted sidekick remarked, "Well, how can you be ahead of yourself? There's only one of you, and he's standing right here next to me on this fun friend's shoulder!"

"Yes, yes, you're very astute. But as I was saying, it appears as if we may finally take over the world after all...!"

At this point, there were very few gems that hadn't been rejuvenated, and they were heading toward the woods in search of one last gem...

Scratching his head, the skinnier of the two mice questioned, "Why would a, uh, gem be hiding out here?"

"We are not here to study their behaviors, Pinky, this is simply where that strange frost gremlin told us that one was hiding. Not only that, but they said she is to be a cunning and fierce warrior! The perfect person to lead my alien army!"

Pinky blinked before questioning as Spinel twirled her Rejuvenator and followed the trail of destroyed trees, "Didn't you say I would lead your army...?"

"No, Pinky, I said you'd lead me down a path of deep self-reflection and confusion, and you're doing a great job at that."

Suddenly, the two mice heard the sound of footsteps from behind them, and they'd urge Spinel to handle this mysterious gem warrior on her own while they went off to investigate. 

Quietly walking back to where their walk began, they'd spot those three red-nosed Warners with that weak-looking boy right behind them! While they had already sapped his powers, it appeared as if they would have some extra difficulty with that trio given the way they liked to derail any sense of suspense and urgency.

Scoffing at the siblings, Brain would remark, "I say this with great confidence: you are far too late to stop me. I've already obtained all the gems I need for my army, and not even you Charlie Chaplin catastrophes can stop my plan from coming to fruition!"

"Heh, well you DO know that the villains always lose in these things, right?" Yakko remarked with a smug smile.

However, not looking deterred, Brain would soon boast, "Oh, but that's just the thing. You all think that I'm a villain because of my harsh and unwavering methods, but ultimately my goal is not to destroy anything or hurt anyone but to rule the world in a more dignified and orderly manner than any humans have in the last several thousand years! All they do is bicker with one another over the tiniest of issues, and all because of all the lines that we have drawn to separate them. But once I am in charge, everything will be one, and everyone will be united with the common goal of furthering Earth's conquest! Sure, they'll miss their independence at first, but soon they'll realize what they were missing with me not commanding their actions!"

"Y-you're wrong! I've seen what it's like when a planet is ruled by just one person, and that doesn't make anyone happy! Y-you could be using your intelligence to better the world, but instead, you just want to intimidate and hurt people!"

The big-headed mouse just rolled his eyes at the half-human's speech, ordering him, "Save that impassioned talk for someone who is in need of it. Once my newest assistant apprehends our last gem warrior and leaves her fit for reprogramming, we will be able to do as we please and prove to you the genius that is Brain!"

Then, he heard a scream from behind and turned to see Spinel running frantically away from the orange muscle-bound gem who she failed to Rejuvenate, clearly not being prepared for someone so ready to fight anyone who annoyed her. Brain would simply roll his eyes in annoyance, attempting to reach for a net to toss, but he'd end up accidentally stumbling and letting his bag of gems fall right on top of him.

Seeing this mistake, Pinky would rush to lift the bag off of him, only for him to accidentally let a gem slip out... a shiny-looking Pearl. That certainly distracted him, and he'd soon pick it up and rub it like a lamp.

"P-Pinky, you galloping Gallagher, stop admiring that gemstone and get this bag off of me, so we can deal with this brute!"

Unhappy with this request, he'd complain, "But it's so shiny and pretty, Brain! And I think uh, Spinzy already has it taken care of!"

Everyone would glance over and see Spinel and Jasper sitting next to each other, with the latter crying to the former about her various problems. Perhaps they didn't need to hit her with that fancy memory scythe after all!

Then, the Pearl would begin to float up into the air and glow, and it'd form a clamshell around it before a robot voice spoke out, giving the polite request: "Please identify yourself!"

"Pinky, POIT!" 

Brain would facepalm, not having the opportunity to give his own name, or to at least advise Pinky not to say one of his various catchphrases as if that was a surname of his...

Responding thusly, the Shell stated, "Greetings, Pinky Poit. Please state preferred customization options."

"Uhh... big fluffy white dress?"

"Please stand by."

Soon, Pearl began to reform, now adorned in a soft white dress resembling what a bride may wear, and she would soon crouch down to look admirably at her tiny mouse owner. To Pinky, it was as if he had a girlfriend or something, although nobody would ever be more important to him than Brain. To Brain, it was as if he was going to need to coach Pinky on how to command a soldier, rather than simply ask for cheese wedges. To Steven, this was completely devastating... and the Warners were wondering if they'd play a part in this or if this was just Pinky and the Brain's story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hiatus, was on a writer's block!


	7. Pinky's Pearl, Warners Wince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pinky gets very excited about having a Pearl, Brain gets annoyed at not being the center of the Pearl's attention, and everyone else finds this a perfect distraction.

"Yes, yes, sing the song again! Narf!"

Smiling, Pearl would blankly respond, "As you wish, my Pinky."

Brain would feel great irritation as the now subordinate Pearl was being instructed to sing that silly little introductory jingle again. Did he have nothing better to do with a mindless drone than to have them expel repetitive jingles? It felt like the most mediocre form of entertainment to the power-hungry intellect, but for his much dimmer ally, it appeared as if it was all he could ever want.

"Hey, you know this is a pretty good distraction," Yakko would whisper to Steven. "Just stay there, we can get this taken care of quickly."

In an instant, the Warner Siblings were replaced with very convincing cardboard cutouts, and they would sneak over disguised as a bush in order to steal that bag from right under the mice's nose. It wouldn't be all that difficult- Spinel was preoccupied with having a heart-to-heart (no pun intended) with Jasper, Pinky was entertained quite thoroughly by Pearl, and Brain was getting a bit of a headache and wasn't doing a great job guarding the bag. Soon, the three siblings would grab the bag and replace it with one of seemingly equal weight.

When Brain looked back up and saw the child gone, and the Warner Siblings replaced with almost convincing cardboard figures, he would immediately move to check the bag. Soon he'd be coughing and gagging, realizing it had been swapped out for dirty laundry- who knew they had so much of it on hand at a moment's notice?

Snapping at Pinky, he'd proclaim, "Your idea of fun has seemingly jeapordized our mission! We must scan the town for that little curly-haired boy and those Warners who have assisted him before this whole thing falls apart, understand?!"

"Ah, um, yes Brain! So what do you want me to do...?"

Sighing, he'd spell it out nice and slow: "Tell Pearl that you want her to find the gems and apprehend them."

He scratched his chin but soon nodded, turning to Pearl ready to give the order!

Now, back at the Beach House, the Warner Siblings would begin singing a jolly song naming every gem in the bag, while Steven was having trouble getting into that sort of jolly spirit.

"Not to ruin the fun, but I feel like we need to take this as seriously as possible- my powers are gone, so our only hope is figuring out how to get them back to normal!"

The sibs would give a nod of agreement before Dot questioned, "How do we expect to fit all of these gems in one house? We need a gem to get into the temple in the first place!"

"Oh, but you forget, this place wasn't made to hold out characters as loony as us!" Yakko exclaimed, before getting out a marker and using it to draw a second door next to the temple door...

Puzzled, Steven asked, "How will that get you into the temple...?"

"Through the power of contrivances, of course!" he responded, drawing a series of symbols onto it- one being a flower, one being a microphone, one being a sandwich, and one being a star- seemingly representing the four protagonists of this tale. "Now, I watched the way you guys demonstrated the temple door's functions, and I think through some zany logic, we could do the same thing with this door! So everyone has to join hands and focus really hard on turning this knob!"

Steven came forward and would reach his hand out, with Yakko, Wakko, and Dot doing so afterward, and they'd all close their eyes and clench their hands shut... and with a sparkle of cartoon magic, the door opened and they'd be peering into the Burning Room!

Gasping with amazement as he stepped through their handmade door, he proclaimed, "T-this is incredible! How are you able to do something that usually only gems can do?"

"Oh, it's simple- gem powers are basically just cartoon logic, but with a bit of a sci-fi twist! Shapeshifting, taking a ton of damage and coming back, pulling things outta nowhere..."

Adding to the list made by Yakko, Wakko took a bite out of an old boot as he remarked, "Eatin' things that we shouldn't eat!"

"In summary, they borrowed from us, we borrowed from them, circle of life," Dot casually clarified.

Steven couldn't say he really got that explanation fully, but he definitely was willing to buy it if it meant they were now able to get all the gems back in a more spacious environment! Soon they'd be spaced out fairly evenly, and after a moment of waiting, they'd all glow and begin to reform...!

He'd rush instinctively to give a hug to one of them- specifically Amethyst- only to realize she didn't recognize him at all, looking like a confused child. Looking around, it seemed everyone else was just as confused... and many were beginning to engage in a bit of infighting, definitely not used to making friends with gems of so many different varieties!

Whispering to Yakko, Steven urged, "I think we need to do something to keep them from poofing themselves all over again..."

"Ooh, right, right..."

Taking out a soap box and slamming it on the ground hard enough that suds leaked out from the bottom, he'd stand on top of it and ring a comically large bell to get their attention.

Clearing his throat, he'd begin his spiel: "Pearls, Rubies, Amethysts, lend me your ears. I come not to tell you that you should wage war against the little mice that have stripped you of your personalities and independence... oh, wait, that's exactly what I'm telling you!"

"I will note that none of you have to listen to us, you are your own people," Steven muttered, raising a hand.

Bismuth, raising an eyebrow, questioned, "Wait, our independence? Two mice? You're making about as much sense as you look!"

"Hm, this might take a bit to explain... hey Steven, do you mind pulling me aside and giving me some tidbits about your friends' core traits?"

Shrugging, Steven would take Yakko over to the corner and quietly explain to him everything that his friends and his acquaintances from that distant galaxy had accomplished and done for him, along with what he remembered from the ones that he hadn't gotten to know so well. Being the wittiest of the Warners, he was already scheming up some lyrics that could help to inspire some reformations in their personalities so that they could short of make a shortcut right here.

Turning to his brother, he would ask with a cheeky smile, "You two know Yes Sir That's My Baby by Walter Donaldson and Gus Kahn?"

"Uh, is that a trick question?" Dot asked, while Wakko tapped his head with his tongue sticking out. 

Shrugging, Yakko pulled a grand piano out from just out of frame as he commented, "Eh, it's public domain now, so it's as good a time as any to whip up an impromptu parody that can actually be appreciated for its lyrical brilliance by the readers!"

"...readers? Okay, nevermind, just go," Steven urged, deciding he would just enjoy their music instead of trying to raise any questions.

Sitting down at the piano, Yakko would begin to play a pretty jazzy melody, while he and his siblings started to harmonize...

"Who are those gems, one red and one blue  
With that love that is so true?  
Who got married after several thousand years?"

Upon belting that tune, the siblings would be satisfied to see Ruby and Sapphire blushing and wondering what truth there was to it...

"Who's that with the rainbow hair?  
Super strong, and never scared!  
She's a freedom fighter with zero fear!"

Bismuth seemed to definitely be shaken hearing those two words, even though she could've sworn she had no idea what hey meant...

"Yes, sir, Crystal Gemmies  
No, sir, don't act crazy  
Yes, sir, you're Crystal Gems, wow!  
No, ma'am, you're not dreaming,  
Though your memory may need cleaning,  
You're bonafide Crystal Gems, without a doubt!"

With the term repeated three times now, and only once being butchered to fit the original tune, the gems in the room were beginning to get very confused and ponder if there was something they had forgotten... however, the Warner Siblings would do another verse for good measure!

"Oh, Amethyst,  
Peridot, Lapis,  
Whips, tech, and water, it sure would be missed!   
You're Crystal Gems forever,  
You're on a team together,   
You gotta snap out of your funk!  
Every gem here in this room,  
You got stuck with micey gloom,   
But you can come back with twice the spunk!"

Steven wasn't sure what effect this sort of song would have on them, but he'd gasp as he realized that the gems were already beginning to glow, their memories being jogged and their past experiences returning! Perhaps the Warner Siblings weren't just a bunch of goofballs after all, ain't that right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how I should move this story along, I'm open to more suggestions!  
> Oh, and yeah, I did decide to just write a parody song for the gems to sing, based on this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LF8ZPIFj0VQ Hope it's fun to you guys too!


	8. Brain Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One genius mouse does not like how his plan is being foiled, so he quickly looks for a solution.

This was the opposite of how Brain had been hoping that things would end up going for him. Because of the way Pinky had distracted him, he ended up getting his bag of potential soldiers stolen from right under his nose, leaving him only with someone only capable of doing whatever his incompetent sidekick asked! How could he salvage this...? Hm, if it was Pinky that this Pearl would obey, and Pinky was going to remain unreliable for any sort of actual world-conquering using her, maybe he would need to take drastic measures to ensure that things could still turn around...

"Oh, Pinky, I do believe I must reward you or... all the hard work you've been doing for me. Do you mind if we step into this large bush, outside of Pearl's view, and I can reward you with a well-thought-out and sincere gift, with absolutely no ulterior motives?"

Tapping his chin, Pinky would reply, "Well if you're offering, I guess I'd be happy to be rewarded for something! And what better place than a thick bush?"

Giving a wave to Pearl, who would only look at Pinky to his annoyance, Brain would drag him inside the bush. Pearl would obliviously stand in wait as a comical BONK rang out, and inside the bush, Pinky was out cold.

Sticking his tongue back into his mouth, Brain would remark to his now unconscious friend, "I apologize for this, I hope to make it up to you when we eventually share custody of this mouse-forsaken planet. But for now, I must escalate things..."

He would begin to place onto himself a full morph suit that, when a switch was flicked, would cause him to take on the exterior appearance of Pinky- to compensate for the difference in height, he needed to walk on stilts, which helped him imitate his friend's ditzy way of walking. To make sure his speech was also imitated, he got a specialized voice-altering box and slid it in his mouth and down his throat to rest by his voice box.

Stepping out of the bush, he would test the convincingness of the disguise by greeting Pearl.

"Excuse me, my nubile servant, may you give me a sampling of cheese?"

Smiling in a sweet manner, Pearl would nod and summon a plateful of cheeses for him, not able to tell the difference between the disguised Brain and her real 'master.'

Smiling, he would remark as he grabbed a piece, "Excellent! Now, onto more important matters- do you know where one can find access to the home planet of Gemkind?"

"Oh, of course! Right this way, my Pinky Poit!"

It was still a great source of annoyance for the Brain that he was unable to get that name changed in any way, but it appeared like it was too late to dwell on that. For now, he would see who was in charge on this galaxy-faring planet, and whether he could conquer one planet with help from a species apparently far more successful in that regard...

Just as he managed to get to the Warp Pad, which would lead him straight to the Galaxy Warp, he'd find himself confronted by the now restored gems who had previously had the potential to be under his command. How disappointing, those Warners were able to switch them back through a simple song. 

Bismuth, looking bold and commanding, would order him, "Stop what you're doing, little rodent, and give us back our friend!"

"My apologies for the confusion- what I'm doing is already in motion, there is no stopping it. And as the humans say, I called... dibs."

Leaning to Steven, Yakko would remark, "Pop culture references do not sound good coming out of his mouth... of course, I can't even tell whose mouth that is."

"Pearl, threaten them with your spear, so we will not be stopped from embarking on the next step of our journey."

Nodding, Pearl aimed her spear on the ground just in front of the gems and would fire a blast that left a small smoking crater in the ground. That definitely put a bit of a dampen in everyone's eagerness to get Pearl back, since she seemingly was still pretty far along in servant mode.

Pleadingly, Steven would urge, "Remember who you are, Pearl! You're not a servant, and you're not a soldier either!"

"Pearl, do not self-reflect. We are leaving, now."

Pearl, forcing herself to not consider Steven's words, would soon activate the Warp and send the two of them zipping out of the Galaxy. 

Sighing, Dot would remark, "Man, we just started having fun here too, and it's already getting conquered..."

"We're not giving up yet!" Garnet proclaimed, freshly fused. "There's not enough room for all of us, so some of us should stay behind and prepare the people of Beach City in case of an invasion."

Tapping her foot, Amethyst would question, "How are we gonna get Pearl back to normal, though? She thinks she's that rat's servant, and there's no way he'll ever agree to let us turn her back!"

"Did someone say rat...?"

Everyone gasped from the familiar voice, turning to see what looked like the same mouse from before, but this time coming from the opposite direction and rubbing his head a bit. 

Everyone took a battle stance, with Peridot exclaiming dramatically, "You won't make us your servants, you cheese-eating monster!"

"Servant? Oh, geez, I wouldn't wanna do that! That's definitely more Brain's department, although I haven't seen him ever since he gave me that gift..."

Looking confused, Steven asked, "What gift did he give you?"

"Oh, this neat little bump on my head!" he replied, pointing to a throbbing red lump, seemingly from a bonk he received. "He's so thoughtful, I have no idea how he knew I wanted that!"

This would make everyone realize what happened- clearly, due to the fact that Pinky had been the one who accidentally received Pearl, Brain grew jealous and disguised himself so he could be fully in charge!

There was, even more, to focus on, though, as Jasper and that heart-shaped gem would show up both looking a bit sheepish.

Raising her hands in surrender, Spinel would admit, "Honestly, I don't really wanna take over the world, but that mouse guy made it sound like it was the only way I could get revenge over how Pink treated me!"

"How I treated you? Oh, you mean you wanted me to treat you to some of my gourmet cheeses?" Pinky exclaimed excitedly as if he had been waiting all day for someone to ask him.

A bit confused by his utterance, Jasper would then give her apologies: "I uh, kind of got carried away roughing her up, I barely even realized that someone was trying to use me to take over Earth. And it's not like I like this planet or anything, but if someone conquers it, that pretty much takes away my only home, so..."

"Wait, so did we just get Jasper on our team like that?! Wow, I thought that'd be way harder!" Steven proclaimed, quite happy by how that turned out. "Um, by the way uh... Spinel, I think? Do you still have that, uh, reset device on you? It might be good if we can study it a bit."

She'd dig through her pockets, and soon realize, "Oh gosh, I think the big-headed one-"

"Brain is his name!"

Nodding, Spinel kept going: "Brain took the Rejuvenator right out of my hands! Oh golly, just imagine what he might be planning to do with that all the way back on Homeworld!"

"Whatever it is, it can't be good. Hm... you three Warner Siblings know that mouse better than anyone, I presume, right?"

In response to Garnet's question, Wakko would answer, "Yeah, in sort of a neighborly sort of way."

"Okay, you three and Steven should go there in order to hopefully stop him from using Pearl and the Rejuvenator from continuing his evil plans."

Raising his hands, Pinky would urge, "W-wait, can I come with you guys? I wanna see Brain's plan in action, I've never seen him get so far before something seemingly insignificant makes it completely backfire!"

"Uh... yeah, sure. I guess you'll be good for information," Steven replied, picking him up and placing him on top of his curly hair. "So, do you guys wanna go by Warp, or is there any special way you'd prefer to do this?"

Thinking it over, Yakko would reply, "Well, a good quick reference wouldn't hurt... quick! To the Bicentennial Lemon!"

A nearly copyrightable ship would be seen just by the shore of Beach City, without any real explanation, and the three siblings, the half-human Crystal Gem, and the mouse would all board. Steven would give his friends and family one last wave, hoping that when he came back he'd be assured that the planet was safe. The Warner Siblings, meanwhile, hoped they'd get more lines in the next chapter! Like, c'mon!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope the wait wasn't too bad!

**Author's Note:**

> Yo, hope this is intriguing to some people! Got an idea to write this and wanted to try it out~


End file.
